Phân tích"It is suggested that all young adults should undertake a period of unpaid work, helping people in the community. Does it bring more benefits or drawbacks to the young people?"IELTS WRITING TASK 2 (paper-based 07/12/2023)

Bên cạnh Phân tích bài essay về "The number of visitors in the UK" IELTS WRITING TASK 1 (table), IELTS TUTOR hướng dẫn Phân tích"It is suggested that all young adults should undertake a period of unpaid work, helping people in the community. Does it bring more benefits or drawbacks to the young people?"IELTS WRITING TASK 2 (paper-based 07/12/2023)

It is suggested that all young adults should undertake a period of unpaid work, helping people in the community. Does it bring more benefits or drawbacks to the young people?

IELTS TUTOR lưu ý:

• Dạng outweigh thì đã rất quen thuộc với các bạn học sinh lớp IELTS ONLINE WRITING 1 KÈM 1 của IELTS TUTOR rồi nhé
• Dạng outweigh có 2 cách làm tuỳ theo target mình hướng đến:
  • Cách 1: Theo hướng Totally (advantages>disadvantages)
    • Body 1: Nêu lí do thứ 1 vì sao advantages>disadvantages
      • Main idea:  This allows them to see the various aspects of life and when they realize that many people around them do not even have the basic necessities of life, they will learn to count their blessings.   >> IELTS  TUTOR  hướng  dẫn  Paraphrase từ"factor/aspect"(Diễn đạt"tiêu chí"tiếng anh)
      • Supporting idea: These activities certainly help them gain insight into the lives of the underprivileged, realise how fortunate they are, and therefore inspire in them a higher sense of responsibility with the community.
      • Example: For instance, a teenager from a privileged background who engages in such activities may witness firsthand the lack of access to basic necessities like clean water, education, and healthcare. This eye-opening experience can lead to a profound appreciation for their own privileges
    • Body 2: Nêu lí do thứ 2 vì sao advantages>disadvantages
      • Main idea: volunteering is a great opportunity to acquire valuable work experience. 
      • Supporting idea:
        • They can mention these stints in their resume when it is time to apply for a job. 
        • Youngsters who have done some kind of community work are more likely to get hired than someone who has absolutely no experience of volunteering.  >> IELTS  TUTOR  hướng  dẫn  Phân biệt "hire" "rent" "lease" tiếng anh
      • Example: A young individual participating in a volunteer program focused on environmental conservation gains hands-on experience in organizing and executing community cleanup initiatives. Later, when applying for a position in an environmental advocacy organization, they can showcase this experience on their resume.
  • Cách 2: Theo hướng Partly (partly - CHỈ RIÊNG với dạng OUTWEIGH này thì nếu target 7.0 có thể viết còn các dạng khác không nên viết partly nhé) 
    • Intro câu 2, advantages = disadvantages (this trend could have positive and negative consequences in equal measures)
    • Body 1: On the one hand, viết về advantages 
      • Main idea 1: This allows them to see the various aspects of life and when they realize that many people around them do not even have the basic necessities of life, they will learn to count their blessings. 
        • Supporting idea: These activities certainly help them gain insight into the lives of the underprivileged, realise how fortunate they are, and therefore inspire in them a higher sense of responsibility with the community.  >> IELTS  TUTOR  hướng  dẫn  Cách dùng động từ "help"tiếng anh 
        • Example: For instance, a teenager from a privileged background who engages in such activities may witness firsthand the lack of access to basic necessities like clean water, education, and healthcare. This eye-opening experience can lead to a profound appreciation for their own privileges
      • Main idea 2: volunteering is a great opportunity to acquire valuable work experience. 
        • Supporting idea:
          • They can mention these stints in their resume when it is time to apply for a job. 
          • Youngsters who have done some kind of community work are more likely to get hired than someone who has absolutely no experience of volunteering.
        • Example: A young individual participating in a volunteer program focused on environmental conservation gains hands-on experience in organizing and executing community cleanup initiatives. Later, when applying for a position in an environmental advocacy organization, they can showcase this experience on their resume.
    • Body 2: On the other hand, viết về disadvantages 
      • Main idea 1: if a youngster gives too much importance to community work, he may lose his focus on his studies  (IELTS TUTOR gợi ý cách diễn đạt khác: students’ studies at school can be sabotaged as they are always short of time to complete their homework or revise their lessons)
        • Supporting idea:
          • This, in turn, will hurt his career prospects. (IELTS TUTOR gợi ý cách diễn đạt khác: The more profound consequence that can ensue from the constant poor academic performance is the bleak career prospects that the future hold for them)
          • In the highly competitive job market, it is impossible to find good job opportunities if you do not have a university degree with good grades.  >> IELTS  TUTOR  hướng  dẫn  Cách dùng động từ "work" tiếng anh
        • Example: Consider a dedicated high school student who is deeply committed to volunteering at a local community center, assisting with after-school programs for underprivileged children. As a result of spending substantial time on community work, the student finds it challenging to prioritize studies and struggles to complete homework or revise lessons.
      • Main idea 2: making unpaid work obligatory to all students without any exception will certainly cause resentment among themselves or their families.
        • Supporting idea:
          • Most young people are already under enough pressure with their studies, without being given the added responsibility of working in their spare time
          • Youth is that stage of life that allows enjoyment without being tied down with the responsibilities that arise with age. 
          • Spending the little leisure time that they get in helping the community would steal from them the pleasures of exploring their individuality.   >> IELTS  TUTOR  hướng  dẫn  Phân biệt THIEF, ROBBER, BURGLAR và STEAL
          • When young people do have some free time, we should encourage them to enjoy it with their friends or to spend it doing sports and other leisure activities

IELTS TUTOR gợi ý bài tham khảo:

It is proposed that all young adults should engage in a period of unpaid community service. I believe that mandating such an experience for all young people could result in both positive and negative outcomes in equal measure.

On the one hand, volunteering offers numerous advantages. This practice exposes young people to various aspects of life, fostering a greater awareness of social inequalities. By witnessing the struggles of those lacking basic necessities, young volunteers can develop a deeper appreciation for their own privileges and a heightened sense of social responsibility. For instance, a teenager from a privileged background might gain a newfound appreciation for access to clean water, education, and healthcare after working with underprivileged communities. Moreover, volunteering provides valuable work experience, enhancing employability. Participation in community initiatives, such as environmental conservation projects, equips individuals with practical skills and experience that can be highlighted on resumes. This can give them an edge in the competitive job market, making them more attractive candidates to potential employers.>> Form đăng kí giải đề thi thật IELTS 4 kĩ năng kèm bài giải bộ đề 100 đề PART 2 IELTS SPEAKING quý đang thi (update hàng tuần) từ IELTS TUTOR

On the other hand, there are notable disadvantages. Excessive involvement in community work can detract from academic responsibilities, potentially jeopardizing educational achievements and future career prospects. For example, a high school student deeply committed to volunteering may struggle to balance their studies, resulting in poor academic performance and limited job opportunities. Additionally, mandating unpaid work for all students can cause resentment among young people and their families, especially when academic pressures are already high. Youth should be a time of enjoyment and personal exploration, and requiring community service can deprive them of leisure activities that contribute to their overall well-being and personal development. Instead of mandating unpaid work, encouraging young people to engage in enjoyable and stress-relieving activities during their free time may be more beneficial.

In conclusion, while unpaid community work for young adults has its merits, it also poses significant challenges, and a balanced approach should be considered.

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