Phân tích"The personal information of many individuals is held by large internet companies and organisations. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?"IELTS WRITING TASK 2 (Đề thi IELTS 24/12/2022)

Bên cạnh Phân tích bài essay về "The number of visitors in the UK" IELTS WRITING TASK 1 (table), IELTS TUTOR hướng dẫn Phân tích"The personal information of many individuals is held by large internet companies and organisations. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?"IELTS WRITING TASK 2 (Đề thi IELTS 24/12/2022)

• The personal information of many individuals is held by large internet companies and organisations. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

IELTS TUTOR lưu ý:

• Dạng outweigh thì đã rất quen thuộc với các bạn học sinh lớp IELTS ONLINE WRITING 1 KÈM 1 của IELTS TUTOR rồi nhé
• Dạng outweigh có 2 cách làm tuỳ theo target mình hướng đến:
  • Cách 1: Theo hướng Totally (disadvantages>advantages)
    • Body 1: Nêu lí do thứ 1 vì sao disadvantages>advantages
      • Main idea: posting personal data on the Internet makes users potentially susceptible to criminal activities >> IELTS TUTOR giới thiệu TỪ VỰNG & IDEAS TOPIC CRIME IELTS
      • Supporting idea: The private information shared online including one’s names, addresses or social security numbers can be exploited for illicit purposes such as financial fraud.  (IELTS TUTOR gợi ý cách diễn đạt khác: the targeted individuals would encounter a multitude of risks such as phishing emails, identity theft or even property fraud, which decisively leads to many real-life tragedies)
      • Example:
    • Body 2: Nêu lí do thứ 2 vì sao disadvantages>advantages
      • Main idea: People have little privacy when using the Internet >> IELTS TUTOR giới thiệu Từ vưng topic Internet - communication IELTS 
      • Supporting idea: If someone was to get hold of something private we may have wrote and shared it online, once it’s out there, it’s very hard to get off.
      • Example: For example, social networks provide little privacy protection. (Facebook, as one of the most popular social networks, doesn’t provide much privacy protection for their users) >> IELTS TUTOR giới thiệu Từ vựng topic "social media" IELTS 
  • Cách 2: Theo hướng Partly (partly - CHỈ RIÊNG với dạng OUTWEIGH này thì nếu target 7.0 có thể viết còn các dạng khác không nên viết partly nhé) 
    • Intro câu 2, advantages = disadvantages (this trend could have positive and negative consequences in equal measures)
    • Body 1: On the one hand, viết về advantages 
      • Main idea:  The information is used to create helpful services for consumers
        • Supporting idea: 
          • Utilising machine learning and big data technologies, a company may understand their customers better. 
          • This means that companies may provide better services or make products that exactly suit customer needs.
        • Example: 
          • Google maps is a good example of an entirely free platform used by millions
          • Those who use electronice wallets, for example, may get their online transactions done in a matter of seconds if their identity and biometric data are already on the system.
    • Body 2: On the other hand, viết về disadvantages 
      • Main idea 1: posting personal data on the Internet makes users potentially susceptible to criminal activities >> IELTS TUTOR giới thiệu TỪ VỰNG & IDEAS TOPIC CRIME IELTS
        • Supporting idea: The private information shared online including one’s names, addresses or social security numbers can be exploited for illicit purposes such as financial fraud.  (IELTS TUTOR gợi ý cách diễn đạt khác: the targeted individuals would encounter a multitude of risks such as phishing emails, identity theft or even property fraud, which decisively leads to many real-life tragedies)
        • Example:
      • Main idea 2: People have little privacy when using the Internet >> IELTS TUTOR giới thiệu Từ vưng topic Internet - communication IELTS 
        • Supporting idea: If someone was to get hold of something private we may have wrote and shared it online, once it’s out there, it’s very hard to get off.
        • Example: For example, social networks provide little privacy protection. (Facebook, as one of the most popular social networks, doesn’t provide much privacy protection for their users) >> IELTS TUTOR giới thiệu Từ vựng topic "social media" IELTS 

IELTS TUTOR gợi ý bài tham khảo:

Nowadays, the personal information of millions of people is stored by major technology companies and organisations. While this practice offers certain benefits, it also brings about serious drawbacks; therefore, this trend could have positive and negative consequences in equal measures.

On the one hand, keeping users’ data enables companies to provide more tailored services (dịch vụ được cá nhân hoá – services designed to suit individual needs) to their customers. By leveraging (tận dụng – making effective use of) big data (dữ liệu lớn – extremely large data sets) and machine learning (học máy – AI technique where systems learn from data), corporations can gain valuable insights into consumer behaviour. This, in turn, allows them to produce better products or create platforms that meet users’ specific demands. A prime example is Google Maps, an entirely free service used by millions worldwide, which relies heavily on the data collected from users to provide accurate navigation. Similarly, those who use electronic wallets (ví điện tử – digital systems for financial transactions) may complete payments within seconds if their identity or biometric data (dữ liệu sinh trắc học – physical/biological characteristics used for identification) are already stored in the system.>> tham khảo CẦN VIẾT & THU ÂM BAO NHIÊU BÀI ĐỂ ĐẠT 8.0 SPEAKING & 7.0 WRITING?

On the other hand, storing such sensitive information exposes individuals to significant risks. First, posting personal details online makes users highly susceptible (dễ bị tổn thương – easily influenced or harmed by something) to criminal activities (hoạt động phạm tội – illegal acts). For instance, names, addresses, or social security numbers can be exploited for illicit purposes (mục đích phi pháp – unlawful activities) such as financial fraud. Victims may encounter phishing emails, identity theft, or even property fraud, all of which can result in devastating real-life consequences. Second, this practice also raises concerns about the erosion of privacy (sự xói mòn quyền riêng tư – gradual destruction of privacy). Once private information is shared online, it is extremely difficult to erase, and platforms like Facebook are notorious for providing limited privacy safeguards.

In conclusion, although storing users’ personal information facilitates better services, it simultaneously creates privacy and security risks; thus, its advantages and disadvantages seem to be balanced.

New Vocabulary List

1. tailored services (dịch vụ được cá nhân hoá – services designed to suit individual needs)

   • Synonyms: personalized services, customized services, adapted services

   • Antonyms: generic services, standardized services, uniform services

   • IELTS TUTOR xét ví dụ: "keeping users’ data enables companies to provide more tailored services..."

2. leveraging (tận dụng – making effective use of)

   • Synonyms: exploiting, harnessing, capitalizing on

   • Antonyms: wasting, neglecting, ignoring

   • IELTS TUTOR xét ví dụ: "By leveraging big data and machine learning, corporations can gain valuable insights..."

3. big data (dữ liệu lớn – extremely large data sets)

   • Synonyms: large-scale data, massive datasets, vast information

   • Antonyms: small data, limited dataset, minor information

   • IELTS TUTOR xét ví dụ: "...by leveraging big data and machine learning..."

4. machine learning (học máy – AI technique where systems learn from data)

   • Synonyms: artificial intelligence, predictive modeling, algorithmic learning

   • Antonyms: manual process, human decision-making, non-automated system

   • IELTS TUTOR xét ví dụ: "...leveraging big data and machine learning..."

5. electronic wallets (ví điện tử – digital systems for financial transactions)

   • Synonyms: digital wallet, mobile wallet, e-wallet

   • Antonyms: cash payment, physical wallet, traditional transaction

   • IELTS TUTOR xét ví dụ: "those who use electronic wallets may complete payments within seconds..."

6. biometric data (dữ liệu sinh trắc học – physical/biological characteristics used for identification)

   • Synonyms: fingerprint data, facial recognition data, iris scan data

   • Antonyms: non-biometric data, demographic data, textual information

   • IELTS TUTOR xét ví dụ: "...if their identity or biometric data are already stored in the system."

7. susceptible (dễ bị tổn thương – easily influenced or harmed by something)

   • Synonyms: vulnerable, prone, exposed

   • Antonyms: resistant, immune, protected

   • IELTS TUTOR xét ví dụ: "posting personal details online makes users highly susceptible to criminal activities."

8. criminal activities (hoạt động phạm tội – illegal acts)

   • Synonyms: illegal acts, unlawful deeds, felonies

   • Antonyms: lawful actions, legal conduct, legitimate activities

   • IELTS TUTOR xét ví dụ: "susceptible to criminal activities..."

9. illicit purposes (mục đích phi pháp – unlawful activities)

   • Synonyms: illegal aims, unlawful objectives, criminal intentions

   • Antonyms: legitimate purposes, lawful goals, authorized objectives

   • IELTS TUTOR xét ví dụ: "...can be exploited for illicit purposes such as financial fraud."

10. erosion of privacy (sự xói mòn quyền riêng tư – gradual destruction of privacy)

• Synonyms: loss of privacy, invasion of privacy, decline of privacy

• Antonyms: protection of privacy, safeguarding privacy, preservation of privacy

• IELTS TUTOR xét ví dụ: "...this practice also raises concerns about the erosion of privacy."

Difficult Grammar Structures

1. While this practice offers certain benefits, it also brings about serious drawbacks; therefore, this trend could have positive and negative consequences in equal measures.

   • Structure: Concession with "while" + semicolon compound sentence

   • Translation: "Mặc dù thực tiễn này mang lại một số lợi ích, nó cũng đem đến những hạn chế nghiêm trọng; do đó, xu hướng này có thể có những hậu quả tích cực và tiêu cực ở mức độ ngang bằng."

2. By leveraging big data and machine learning, corporations can gain valuable insights into consumer behaviour.

   • Structure: By + V-ing (showing method)

   • Translation: "Bằng cách tận dụng dữ liệu lớn và học máy, các tập đoàn có thể thu được những hiểu biết có giá trị về hành vi của người tiêu dùng."

3. Once private information is shared online, it is extremely difficult to erase.

   • Structure: Once + clause (showing condition/time)

   • Translation: "Một khi thông tin riêng tư được chia sẻ trực tuyến, rất khó để xoá bỏ."

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